Divorce News

Parents' Unexpected Divorce Can Destabilize New College Student's Life

University Park, Pa. -- Embarking upon a college career is a rite of passage. It is a foray into the realm of adulthood; it is a time to test the waters intellectually and emotionally, socially and professionally. But new adults are not immediately minted as soon as the dorm room is set up and the parents have waved good-bye. College is a formative time during which young adults are especially needful of parental security and support. But for students whose collegiate journey precipitates their parents' divorce announcement, their lives are suddenly thrown into a tailspin, making an already challenging transition even more difficult.

For parents who decide to "stick it out" in order to provide a stable life for their child, the decision to divorce once the child is in college is usually rooted in the belief that the child is adult enough to finally do without the parent's union, says Paul Amato, Penn State professor of sociology, demography and family studies. These couples consider college to be an emotional and social marker indicating their child is mature and independent and that the marriage has served its purpose. However, this is a limited perspective, says Amato.

"It's a mistake to think college students are completely separated from parents. They're still very dependent on their parents for economic support, emotional support, advice and guidance," says Amato. "Ideally, students would like to come and go from being dependent to being independent, and gradually have that be under their control. But divorce might take away that sense of control -- the process of separation and individuation."
Each year, Penn State's Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) sees many students who are struggling to make sense of their parents' announcement of divorce.

"For a lot of students, it's a loss of their security," says Mary Anne Knapp, counselor for CAPS. "They think, 'I just got here and am getting my bearings. I wanted something constant to go back to. I wanted to know there was security at home.'"

The number of couples who choose to divorce later in marriage -- late enough to have a college-age child -- is relatively small when considering that most divorced couples break up after about seven years of marriage. Although a couple who divorces after about 20 years of marriage is less common, Amato says that population still represents a significant portion of U.S. divorces.

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	Did You Know?
	In divorce actions, mediators often are involved in custody and visitation disputes. In some jurisdictions (particularly large urban areas), courts require mediation of custody and visitation disputes. The mother and father must talk with a court-appointed mediator to try to resolve the problem before putting their case before a judge. The mediator cannot force a resolution, but the parties can be told to try mediation before coming to court to ask a judge to decide the issue.